The Importance of Energy In Healthy Relationships

Have you ever felt like you didn’t have the energy to relate to someone? Be it a partner, co-worker, friend or family member, it is sometimes hard to muster the energy to engage.  You know how to act and what to say, but you aren’t able to find the energy. Worse yet, you can be left feeling drained and exhausted afterward.

The effort it takes to interact with people is a major investment of your time and energy.  Energy is a key part of relationship in addition to words, body language, tone, glances, etc.

“Some people are saying the right words, but under the surface they are taking your energy and playing games.”

My experience has been that even when some people are saying the right words, the energy underneath the communication can be difficult. This doesn’t happen with everyone but enough that it deserves a skill set.  Some people don’t want to commit their own resources so they hide behind the energy of their jobs, roles or social positions.  It feels hollow and pointless at best.  Some make power plays to trap parts of you in weird energetic games, which can be frustrating and hurtful.  Many times they have no idea they are doing it!  Energy games can make or break relationships because they are so ceaseless and powerful.

Learning about energy can allow you to discern and interact with people more efficiently.  Most people aren’t very in touch with their bodies let alone their energy, so things can be intense under the surface even though they don’t mean to be.  You need tools to identify and address this current.  Often people are just out of energy.  You can learn when communication is possible and when others don’t have enough energy for rational communication. In these instances, their behavior won’t match their words.  Energy rules the roost.  If it is balanced, then communication makes sense and is productive.  If it is out of balance, it can be a waste of your time or even hurtful.

It’s not like the western world is a stranger to energy in relationships.  It described with words like charisma, drive, magic and chemistry. Or phrases like, “he’s got it!” In other words, there is something going on that people are picking up on even when no words are spoken.

From my current vantage point, relationships need good, consistent and generally positive communication styles. There is nothing better than having the energy and discernment to create positive, strong communication and bonds.  Relationships require a lot of consistent energy. There has to be energy underneath that supports the verbal communication. Knowing when to add energy, when to take it away, how much and what type to add, are foundational steps to any relationship.  Then, what you say will be backed with the correct energy. This makes relationships fun as you create with others and drive around the potholes!  How much energy you have and how it flows in and around the people you are with, is essential to the success of your relationships with family, friends, romance and social life.